Understanding Emotion Regulation
What is it?
You are scared. You think of the possibilities of the unknown. You notice your body responding to the uncertain. In the uncertainty, you feel swept by its current as you begin to lose your footing to emotional flooding. You try to “stay connected to yourself” and keep your head above water. You then discover a way to pause between the feeling and the reaction -this is emotional regulation.
“Emotion regulation is a term generally used to describe a person’s ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. People unconsciously use emotion regulation strategies to cope with difficult situations many times throughout each day. Most of us use a variety of emotion regulation strategies and are able to apply them to different situations in order to adapt to the demands of our environment. Some of these are healthy, some are not.”
“Emotion dysregulation is the term used to describe an inability to regularly use healthy strategies to diffuse or moderate negative emotions. While all people occasionally use less than ideal emotion regulation strategies, individuals who regularly experience what feels like overwhelming, intense negative emotions are much more likely to rely on unhealthy strategies...” People with inadequate regulation skills experience reduced control, awareness, understanding, and acceptance of their emotions.
What’s “Normal?”
Feeling and experiencing emotions are a normal part of our lives. We are supposed to respond when we perceive a threat or challenge. Sometimes our bodies go into high panic, avoidance, exhaustion, and everything in between in the midst of distress. When this activation occurs, our bodies are doing exactly what it is wired to do.
Our response to a stressor is influenced by our interpretation of the emotion. In some cases, for instance when we feel scared or unsettled, we may consequently orient outside of ourselves in search of a sense of safety. One may immerse themselves in social media and television, or even cluster in communities or groups.
The Nervous System
There are two divisions of the autonomic nervous system that are activated under stressful situations: sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the freeze, "fight or flight" reaction. The parasympathetic nervous system helps to return the body back to a relaxed state evoking a sense of mindfulness and grounding.
Our ability to regulate through the vagus nerve -an aspect of our nervous system- allows us to access that internal sense of safety. Essentially, the vagus nerve is the part of our physiology that helps us to take a deep breath, initiates the body’s relaxation response, and puts the breaks on emotional activation. When the regulatory capacity of the parasympathetic nervous system is in control, we are able to think clearly and logically, and increase our internal awareness of both the mind and body. The nervous system comes back "online" when there is the perception of safety. Regulating internally helps us to navigate the external environment.
Emotion Regulation in Action
Activation of the vagus nerve plays an important role in our ability to manage and respond to dysregulation of the nervous system. In this process, being calm is not the goal. The goal is to be connected to the self, to “feel grounded” “in the body” in the middle of the activation or fear. Here are some examples of ways to regulate a dysregulated nervous system:
• Take a deep breath focusing on equal inhalation to exhalation. Do this multiple times throughout the day.
• Splash cold water on your face in an upwards motion or take a cold shower to activate the vagus nerve
• Stand, stretch, or dance to support the movement that is essential for the activation and stimulation of parts of the nervous system
• Sing, hum, chant, or gargle with water
• Apply gentle pressure to the head, arms, and legs to increase awareness of the physical body
• Wrap yourself in a blanket or place your feet under a weighted blanket
• Push back against a chair or wall
• Sit on the floor. Or take your shoes off and feel your feet on the ground
• Rub the sides of your neck in an upwards motion
By creating a regular routine around these activities, you can learn to focus on what your body needs to get you through the day to stay emotionally regulated.
If you're interested in learning how emotion regulation skills may help you to manage anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, or live a more fulfilling life, schedule a complimentary consultation.
